Anxiety

It's amazing how much time just being sad can take up. I had a rather large moment of anxiety this morning. I thought it had only stumbled on a few moments of my day. The clock, however, indicated that over one hour of my precious morning time had been stolen. In the words of the Price is Right: "That's too much!". I'm concerned about what will happen to my finances, my relationships (including with the boyfriend and my daughter), my job, my routines, etc. when I begin maternity leave. Which could be any day now... Scary!

I feel like I am starting to get a good financial plan in, and I've been chucking money into my savings, hopefully to prevent me from having to use any credit until my EI comes in. I am also aware I can't do a complete budget until then, so I am thinking wisely, and make mental notes of what is a "need" and what is a "want". This can sometimes leads to spiraling because there are so many things I need to buy (food, gas, certain child care items, daycare, minimum loan payments, RRSP contributions, ...) and so many more that I want to buy (subscriptions, more food, birthday presents, household items, organizational items, ...). This sometimes leads to negative thoughts spiraling as I tend to focus on how I may have picked one or two "wants" in place of a "need" eventually becoming something along the lines of "I am such a failure, I don't deserve anything including happiness or respect. I am nothing but my failures which indicated by the amount of debt I have, and how little I am putting towards it". It can get as dark as "I don't deserve my child, she deserves someone better to be her mom.". Worse of all, awful negative sentiments from my daughter's father from when he wanted me to abort the baby will enter my mind and they are the most untrue and hard thoughts to get out! Keeping in mind that I have been put over 50% of my salary on debt, paid off $10,000+ credit card debt, and dealt with some major life changes in the past 24 months, I should have nothing but confident I can do this.

Obviously, I haven't been able to cope as effectively as I would like. I do not want to keep wasting my time (and likely my health) worrying this much about my financial future. I think I need to re-employ a few tasks that have helped in the past.

1. Set aside time for worry
2. Start journaling my worries
3. Follow with a list of three great things in my life
4. Focusing on the moment, and all the things I might be missing.
5. Revise my thought patterns. Stop spiraling before it begins.

For example, I am trying to turn it from.. "I am so in debt, I can't afford anything" to "I'm so thankful, I have had a change to pay off as much debt as I have". Or change "I wish I could buy that. Why did I make so many mistakes" to "I've made some hard choices, and I'm very glad I paid extra on my line of credit this month". Or "I'm going to be in debt forever. I should give up and buy this. Why does it even matter?" to "I'm not going to let myself still be paying off my student loans when I'm 40. I'm going to crush those suckers!".

Most of the time, I really do feel lucky. I am going to be proactive to make sure it stays most of the time. Life is beautiful. I intend on seeing it that way.

Are you able to tell when you anxieties are starting to interfere with your life? How to do change it around to focus on the good?

Meme Box My cute wishlist #2 review

Meme Box, which many bloggers are calling the best thing in beauty boxes, is a buy as you like beauty box from Korea. Prices range from $19 - $39 and vary from themes to complete mystery to "naked" boxes where you know what you are ordering in advance. 

I like cute things, and couldn't stop myself from ordering My Cute Wishlist #2. I had controlled myself and let the first one slip through my hands. 

All products were full size and I love the pink boxes they ship in.

1. Sally's Box, Friendly Berry lip patch. I tried this out and couldn't get it to stick on my lips. Glad I didn't buy it myself! $3. 

2. RoseMine, Perfumed hand cream. This both looks and smells like a grama. I think I might try to gift it to my mom, You know, a grama. $12

3. The Yeon, Style Y fruity swirl lip balm in Strawberry. It's a lip gloss, haven't tried it yet. $8. 

4. SaintPeau, Collagen pudding sleeping pack. The pig is cute, but I'm not sure if I would call this product cute. Apply after cleaning, wash off in the morning. I have been afraid to try sleep masks as I don't want to get my pillow dirty. $36.

5. Evas, Vitamin cleaning dessert in red wine. This smells nice, more grape-like than wine-like. I didn't like the chocolate variety, so I'm unsure if I would use this. $18

6. It's Skin, Babyface Blusher. Finally something I would call cute! $7

Total cost $23 plus $6.99 shipping

Total value (according to Meme Box) $84

A great value, even if prices were inflated 50%. However, I don't really see how these items fit "cute wishlist". If you like Korean beauty products, My cute wishlist #4 was just announced today. Please use my link and check out the superboxes/value sets. You'll be able to sace $5 on orders over $100.

Fall Luxe Box Review

After being very disappointed in my first Luxe Box - you know the one that never arrived, and then the replacement that wasn't shipped, and the cheque for the amount I over paid that never arrived - I wondered what my second Luxe Box would have. I was tempted by a few of the promotional upgrade boxes, but I was/am still upset about the half-assed attempt to correct their many mistakes and unhelpful customer service.

I do have to admit the boxes are nice. I have one problem with the cardboard boxes they ship in. The glue is so weak, I can't believe more boxes just don't go missing. Perhaps Canada Post only hires staff with delicate hands.

I received seven products. 

1. Loose Button, Fan Brush, $18

2. AG Hair, High and Dry Finish Spray, sample size 50 mL, $8.00

3. Lila Grace, Tropical scents body lotion, sample size 65 mL, $4.00

4. So Susan, Universal blush, full size, $17,50

5. Burt Bees, Lip gloss in "Ruby Moon", full size, $12.99

6. Amarte, Aqua Veil Pure Hydration Serum, sample size 5 mL, $4.50

7. Amarte, Aqua cream, sample size 5 mL, $10.00

I will probably use all these products, so no waste here. I like the brush, but to me it doesn't fit the $18 loose button value. I just don't feel wowed, and I'm still disgrunted from last month. I'll be pondering for the next few days if I want to continue this subscription or not. I subscribed to many boxes as I had "run out" of beauty products, but I think I have become well stocked again :) 

Total cost $26 plus GST

Total value $74.99 (Pretty amazing!)

If you're interested, use my link and I think you'll get a discount for the winter box. The final day to sign up is December 3rd, and the link should be active until then.

What did you think of the Fall Luxe Box? Did you upgrade?

September Topbox. Review

This is my last month of double topboxes. 

TopBox is a monthly Canadian beauty subscription box containing 4 samples for $12.00 plus tax a month. One of the features is a distinct mailing tube. I might use mine to wrap some Christmas presents this year.

My two boxes were very similar. 

My first box contained: 

Bioderma Sebium foaming gel. 15 mL sample, $19.95/20 mL. Value of sample $1.50

Amina perk-up dry shampoo. This seems very nice. Sample size 21.3 g, guessing value at $1.50

Illumalift brightening cream sample. Sample size. 

Teeez nail polish in raging ruby. Full size, $15. 

My second box contained:

Bioderma Sebium foaming gel. 15 mL sample, $19.95/20 mL. Value of sample $1.50

Amina perk-up dry shampoo. This seems very nice. Sample size 21.3 g, guessing value at $1.50

Lancôme genifique light-pearl. Sample size 5 mL, estimated value $22.

Essie nail polish in sand tropez. Full size, $9.99.

The value is good ($18 for box 1 and $35 for box 2) but the items I know I will use are the two lower end samples leaving me wondering if I should continue with the box or focus $12 on debt and introduce a few less things into my house. 

I didn't update my August topbox. I received a special box (x2) of three ombrelle SPF 60 samples. A great size to pack around, and I hope I'll be able to use them up this fall. 

September ipsy glam bag review

Street style is the word these day at Ipsy. A subscription bag from the US at $11/month plus $4.95 shipping to Canada.

   

I looked at the sneak peak, so I knew what was coming at the beginning of the month. I don't have prices now, but I'll try to go back later and add them. 

First, the Hikari lipstick in Cabernet. This is a gorgeous deep fall red. I'm not sure if this will match me, but it is a colour I would love to have the confidence to pull off. Full size.

UPDATE: Something in this lipstick causes an allergic reaction on my daughter's skin. I tried it out, saw it doesn't match my skin tone, and teased my daughter by leaving kiss marks on her belly. The rash was very mild, and cleared fast.

Pacifica 7 free nail colour in red red wine. Lovely packaging! I'm drowning in nail place polish, so I'll likely gift this to keep my makeup in one room of the house ;) full size.

Mitchell and Peach Floral no. 1 hand cream. This smells just like a hotel hand lotion, and feels similar. 30 mL.

Nourish organic face cleanser in cucumber and watermelon. True to its name, I can't smell anything. Organic and moisturizing. I'll add this to my shower. Size unspecified. 

Be a bombshell smooth criminal powder. This was the product I was excited about and true to BaB, I can't get it out of the box. I look forward to trying this. 4 g.

Cost of this bag $11 plus $4.95 shipping. I'm not feeling rewarded with goodies this month, but I did get a staple and a fun product. If I have time, I'll go back and update the prices, I feel like the value is higher than what I paid. If you want to try Ipsy, please use my link. 

Glamour Doll Eyes OTM September

Wow! I'm so happy with this month! 

Seeing the rainbow in the adorable bag made me think this was going to be awesome. 

First, the colour is "never be royals" described as a light blue with sheer orange overlay/duo chrome. To me, it actually looks liliac. I can't see the duo chrome in the jar, but perhaps once I get it on. 

Second, glitter! I've fallen for glitter, and want to get a few more. This one is beautiful. Called "unicorn tears" made of silver, pink, purple and blue in .004 and .008 hex. 

Third, Glitter Fix! I've been waiting for this to come back in stock (and it will October 15th) and I'm so happy to have a "mini" of my own! I'm going to be using this today. 

Lastly and in theme Unicorn candy. 

Love this month! I think I paid $6 plus $8 shipping to Canada, and I will gladly get this again if my budget allows. I have one more month on my subscription.

September Indie Gift Box Review

As I get ready to leave, the theme for September is office party. 

I don't know where they got such cute tape! Indie gift box is all about little details, and I love it! 

What's in in? 

Cooper Paper Co. notecards. I received 4 card in a very cute and very me leopard heart print. $7. You can find these guys on etsy.

Row house 14 pencil set. Three pencils with fun sayings. I have "beast mode", "hustle", and "like a boss". I have a sentimental attachment to these because I used to have a close friend who was always "hustlin' " and these make me reminsce. $5, also on etsy.

Sugar and type organizer download. $10. I'll have to check this out.

Koco and Viking notebook. Cute with natural pages. I'm not sure how I will use this yet. $10.

Simply Shiao animal magnet. Love! I got a goat and it looks like it can hold a few pieces of paper or a card and still stand up. You could also take it apart and have a goat body coming out of your file cabinet. This tempts me to spend more - maybe once I find out if we are exchanging Christmas presents. $5.

Paper trail pens. My positive pens say "the future is BRIGHT" and "make it HAPPEN". I love these too. I think you can never be surrounded by too much positivity that speaks to you. $5

Total value $42 ($32 without the online download). I paid $24.49 plus $12 shipping to Canada. A fair cost to value with lots of special finds. This is another month I love and I'll say it again, I'll be sad to have to "quit" this box once I start maternity leave. I don't know where they find this adorable stuff!