I worked part-time jobs nearly every semester, and for years I had two to get enough hours to bank on. I didn't want to cost my parents a lot of money, so I relied on student loans to pay my tuition and rent. I was good with my money, and tried to build my savings. I made a very large mistake at getting engaged too young, and dutifully playing the "good wife". I would run home between classes or my co-op internship, make him dinner without having time for me to eat and run off to another job or night class. Did I mention he had decided he was only going to work 20 hours a week? I'm still mad at myself for being pathetic. I graduated from my undergrad with about $25,000 in student loan debt and no longer intended to marry that jerk.
Then came graduate school. I earned tiny TA stipend, and my boss funded me for working 15 hours a week on lab work completely unrelated from my degree. This was synergistic as my boss didn't need to hire someone to work on weekends (beside me) and I was able to get some more income. For over 20 months, I had three weekends off, two of which I used to write GRE exams.This funding was never firm, and I was only given contracts for 3 months at time, so I continued to get student loans, using the money to pay tuition and saving the rest in case I was unemployed. Which did happen, but I was able to quickly move into a full-time position while working on my Master's. For the last year and a bit I worked both full-time, saving as much as I could for a down-payment and/or to repay those loans. I graduated with $45,000 in student loan debt.
I had a five year plan to pay off that debt, and I really wanted to buy a home. I felt that graduate school was putting behind on other life goals like having a husband, a family and mostly stability. I bought a reasonably priced, small house for $260,000 shortly after graduating with a semi-aggressive payment plan.
Fast-forward almost two years. My boyfriend and I had accidentally become pregnant. Because of his religious upbringing, he was insisting I have an abortion. My morals wouldn't let me, to get rid of the baby inside me felt like murder (although I strongly fight for the right for a woman to choose). He felt like the baby would ruin his life, and tried everything he could to convince me, being with threatening our relationship to threatening to take his life, to threatening to take the baby, my house and everything away from me. I'm sure I'll have more to say on this but for now, I can sum it up with it was hard. Very hard. Financially, I think I was still okay. I had an estimated 18 months of living expenses saved up, and my student loans were under $25,000. Less than a week after my daughter was born, I was served with papers requesting I pay the father child support (he insisted he was unable to find work as a teacher or a substitute teacher, and that I should go back to work full-time as giving birth wasn't a valid reason not to work), and that he wanted full custody.
The next year was hard. My legal bills ranged from $4000 to $8500 a month. I very gladly paid my lawyer. Nothing was more important than keeping my newborn safe. I moved cities. I took advantage of any programs I could. I lived with family to save on costs so I could rent my house out (which was happening at a loss). I went shopping emotionally because I was already screwed, what did a $80 purchase matter when I couldn't pay the bills I already had? I was back at work before my daughter was 8 months old, and I only made $100 more that if I had stayed on Maternity leave. But I had no choice.
An opportunity to sell my property came, and I decided to take it. Unfortunately, the housing market I had bought was dropping by thousands every month. I sold for over $40,000 less than I paid. It's been a few months, its still emotional and hard, but I've finally been beginning to see progress. I'm also learning that a negative net worth doesn't make me worthless. There are so many around who end up in a similar financial situation to me through events beyond their control like divorces, floods, unexpected job loss, hurricanes. I'm taking inspiration from them, and I'm picking myself back up. I'm trying to move forward. I AM moving forward. I'm going to blog my journey, and probably blog my way through my emotions as well. I've felt like I can't talk about this and I fear how little I will be thought of. I'm afraid others will believe my daughter's father's claims - even though there is no evidence to back them. I'm learning how I got into debt doesn't matter, but how I get out does. I hope I'll be able to give someone like myself hope and to keep myself positive and forward focused.
Here are my debts as of March 2014
Credit Card (balance transfer from two other maxed out cards): $10,149.67
Line of Credit ($3 from being maxed): $9,996.81
Student loan #1: $5,498.87
Student loan #2: $12,640.87
Personal loan: $27,000
Total debt: $65,285.92
Here's an image of my little miracle, after reading a few pages of GoT. I want her to be proud of her mom :)
And one with her big brother <3
-Leigh
